When I was a young adult I was so very naive as to think that the events of my childhood did not traumatize nor affect me.
It did not take me long to realize that there was "Something Wrong with ME!" I could be having a splendid day where I was happy, energetic having a positive outlook then suddenly I would plummet into the dark depths of depression and despair hating myself and my place in the world.
It took many years in counseling and self-reflecting to identify what was happening when this occurred. I had experienced an "Emotional Trigger" from my childhood. In some cases it would be a PTSD Trigger that would send my emotions and thoughts on a path towards despair.
Triggers can be anything that immediately places you in the midst of an already experienced traumatic event. You feel like it is happening all over again and you are now facing the same fears, hopelessness and pain as you once did in the past. Triggers can associate with anything that triggers your memory. It can be a smell; sound; person; beverage or drink; TV Show; image; the weather or season; objects; virtually anything that you subconsciously associate with the event.
Identifying your triggers is a vital step in the healing process. It allows for advance notice as to when a possible episode may occur and also allows you to consciously think about how you're going to respond or react. The episodes may still come but you learn to control them and they don't effect your personality or emotions for as long. Those times I spiraled down occurred when I was unaware of what I was experiencing and was caught "Off Guard" by the emotion.
Knowing your triggers is vital for a survivor of any form of abuse. I encourage you to make a list of yours today! Some of my triggers include; Train Whistle and bells; Belt; Loud Noises of any kind; Engine Revving; the word "FUCK"; Snow; Rain; Mad Dog 20/20; Gun Shots; loud screams; mud; bacon; mean spirited individuals; a Nike Hat, violence,Ted Danson, Glenn Close, Farah Fawcett just to name a few. These are all associated with painful, traumatic events or memories from my past and trigger my emotions on a moment's notice causing extreme panic and anxiety.
Do a self-inventory today on your Triggers to better prepare you in guarding your emotions and thoughts. Also trust and read the word of God. The only source for my true healing.
"I entreat you when I do come [to you] that I may not [be driven to such] boldness as I intend to show toward those few who suspect us of acting according to the flesh [on the low level of worldly motives and as if invested with only human powers]. For though we walk (live) in the flesh, we are not carrying on our warfare according to the flesh and using mere human weapons. For the weapons of our warfare are not physical [weapons of flesh and blood], but they are mighty before God for the overthrow and destruction of strongholds, [Inasmuch as we] refute arguments and theories and reasoning's and every proud and lofty thing that sets itself up against the [true] knowledge of God; and we lead every thought and purpose away captive into the obedience of Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One)," - 2 Corinthians 10:2-5
These are the games I played with my Father while growing up. "Wanna play?"
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
CW Seymore, read more at CW Seymore Shards of Glass.
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