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Beth's Corner
New Beginnings
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"IF YOU WANT PEACE, YOU HAVE TO BE A SOURCE OF PEACE"

Beth Writes
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New Beginnings

  Beth Vishnevsky

Wisdom and Insights,

On Corporal Punishment:

Lindsey:

"My husband and I believe in spanking our children when they get out of line. We try to use time-outs the rest of the time. Disciplining them lets them know we care. If we didn’t care, we’d just let them run wild. A spank on the behind once in a while will not cause lasting harm to a child."

Tom:

"The effects of corporal punishment does last a lifetime. I was whipped by my dad from the time I was three until I was sixteen. It only stopped because he died from a heart attack, but I still hate him. I hate my mom, too, for not standing up to my dad and stopping him from beating me. If I’m ever lucky to have a child of my own someday, I won’t lay a hand on him. I don’t want any kid of mine growing up to hate me."

Pam:

"Parents have to hit their kids these days or the kids will think they can get away with anything. The harder, the better. Parents need to get the message across that they are in charge, not the kids. The younger the kids learn that, the more behaved they will be as they get older."

We’ve gotten a lot of responses from readers on corporal punishment. Many of those responses have been strong opposition against it. There have been some milder responses, and there have been some very strong responses from people who feel corporal punishment is very much needed and that lack of it is what has caused society to have so many troubles today with misbehaving children.

Whatever views you have, you have for a reason, whether it relates back to your own childhood or not.

We’ve featured comments from Jordan Riak, Executive Director of Parents and Teachers Against Violence in Education, in the past. Mr. Riak’s website, http://www.nospank.org, carries articles both for and against corporal punishment, as well as news related to the topic. There are many articles at his site relating stories about the use of corporal punishment in our schools. Yes, there are still school systems that employ paddling students on the buttocks and other actions as a form of discipline. Some of the articles, and pictures, are disturbing, but they are real stories of what is going on in some of our schools.

Jordan recommends that anybody concerned by the use of corporal punishment write letters to their elected representatives and state department heads in education, health, child & family services, juvenile authorities, juvenile and family court judges, etc.

On (Teenage) Detention Centers:

Janine:

"Sounds like something right out of the horror flicks!"

Benjamin:

"Shameful! Who’s really watching our children?! This is something all parents should know about before they consent to detention centers for their teens."

Jermine:

"So this is what goes on in the good old USA, huh? Canada is looking better all the time."

Some recent articles to check out on the subject:

Spanking and Mental Health at http://nospank.org/falk2.htm

DEAR ABBY sets grandma straight at http://nospank.org/abby.htm

Today’s offering in GUIDE POSTS by Lloyd deMause at http://nospank.org/toc.htm#posts

"Two Editors Scold Bush on Paddling" at http://nospank.org/2eds.htm

New York Times: "Paddling Foes Get Change in Amendment on Liability at http://nospank.org/n-h74.htm

Houston Chronicle: "Justice of Peace defends boy’s courtroom paddling" at http://nospank.org/n-h71.htm

Newsweek: "Should Paddling be Banned in Schools?" at http://nospank.org/n-h75.htm

The Washington Post: "D.C. Schools Take Aim at Corporal Punishment – Training Established to Curtail Violence" at http://nospank.org/n-h73.htm

The New York Times: "Breaking the Hickory Stick" at http://nospank.org/ny4.htm

"Parents’ Golden Rule" from Children, Youth & Families Consortium, University of Minnesota at http://nospank.org/cyfcec.htm

"Spare the Rod!" Excerpted from soon-to-be published Creating Emotionally Safe Schools by Jane Bluestein, Ph.D. at http://nospank.org/bluestn.htm

"WAKE UP, IDIOTS, SPANKING IS SEXUAL!" submitted to Project NoSpank by R.B. at http://nospank.org/s-kink.htm

Outrage over boy’s chain death – http://nospank.org/logan.htm

Hard labour, assault at camp ‘in Jesus’ name – http://nospank.org/logan2.htm

PARENTS BEWARE – Schools or "youth training programs" that absolutely should be avoided. Compiled by Jordan Riak at http://nospank.org/beware.htm

The Tide is Turning, by Robert Scharf at http://nospank.org/scharf4.htm

Inside rehab detention camp – http://nospank.org/logan3.htm

On Hunger:

Cindi forwarded this message in an effort to get more people involved in the fight to end hunger:

"Every 3.6 seconds, someone dies of hunger. 75% are children. Visit The Hunger Site at http://www.thehungersite.com/home everyday to donate free food and participate in the fight to end world hunger.

Funds to provide cups of staple food, paid for by site sponsors, are generated when you click on the "Donate Free Food" button on the homepage of The Hunger Site. In 2000, daily clocking generated over $3.4 million for the front-line hunger relief charities distributing food to the world’s needy. That’s over 20 million pounds of food, paid for simply by clicking a button every day.

Please make visiting The Hunger Site part of your daily routine and help spread the word to your friends and family!"

On Idaho Standoff:

Barbara K.:

"Did you hear that six children ranging in ages 8 to 16 are holding police at bay in Idaho inside their house after their mother was arrested for child abuse? Apparently, they are armed with guns and know how to use them well. Maybe the authorities should have been called in sooner, or is everyone getting dumber and dumber? A stand-off with children is one of the saddest things I’ve ever heard."

Note: One of the 5 children is now in protective custody, and communication between the children and an adult has been established. Although there are guns in the house, there have been no shots fired or any threats. The children are apparently scared they will be split up if they leave the house. Their father died recently and their mom was recently arrested on felony child abuse charges. Police are quick to point out the situation is under control and want to help. Neighbors have tried to offer help in the past but were turned away. These are frightened kids, not dangerous kids. No sooner did their dad die that their mother was arrested and is now in jail. All anyone else can do is pray for this family and, if interested, find out if there is a place where donations can be sent to help.

Update: The remaining 5 children left their house on Saturday, June 2nd and are now in state custody. A 19-year old daughter’s concerns helped lead to the charges now pending against the mother.

On Society:

Kelley:

"The solution to a safer society is having curfews for young people and enticing more graduates to go into law enforcement jobs. Police officers should become known to their neighborhood and work together to combat crime."

Wendy:

"Time Magazine did a follow-up on some of the teenage school shooters doing time for their crimes. What a distressing article. Most of the young men are depressed, suicidal, and deal with nightmares constantly. All of them wished other young teens would learn from their mistakes and not follow in their footsteps. A few minutes of ‘revenge’ costs them their life and freedom. A few minutes of ‘revenge’ left them with a lifetime of grief and anguish. Young people – learn from these young boys and men and don’t use force as an answer to your problems. You will live to regret it, and these boys’ words are testimony to that fact. You are dead wrong if you think shooting someone is the answer. Don’t do it. Grow up and move on with your lives. Make something of yourself."

Inaction can be just as bad as indifference. If you have a ‘cause’ that’s important to you, go out and ‘fight’ for it. Speak up. Reach out. If, in your lifetime, you help just one person, you have made a difference. Dare to be different. Don’t worry so much about what others may think. If you can look yourself in the mirror and be proud of what you see, that is the only thing that matters.

Life is a risk, just being alive

But it’s a lot more than to just survive

We must act with love and lead the way

To do our best, day by day

Yes, dreams can sour, hopes can dim

But can you imagine what it would be like if nobody ever went out on a limb

Imagine that nobody did nothing or just minded their own business out of fear or ignorance

Imagine that nobody ever took a chance to make things better

Imagine if the mailmen didn’t deliver in bad weather

Life goes on, and those who try can never fail

We might not always succeed, we might even wail

But nothing can be gained by doing nothing, by risking nothing, by turning away

That is not the way, OK?

We must be willing to do our part, go that extra mile

Why we’ve won if we gotten a smile

For it is that change is difficult to make

But we must try for everyone’s sake

For those that refuse to really see

Will never know the true beauty that we all can be

For those that criticize others and think they are always right

They’re always looking for a fight instead of trying to see the light

Never give up, never, never, never

Remember that what goes around comes around

Some day those that are lost will be found

What they discover then will blow them away

They might regret time lost, oh, yes, they may

Feel sorry for the fools who are stuck in their ways

They may look like you or me, but everything is not A-OK

To not feel, one cannot heal

To not understand is a way of this land

We must all come together and pray

Oh, yes, things will get better, yes, someday!

Copyright 2000. All Rights Reserved.


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