Wisdom and Insights,
On Corporal Punishment:
Lindsey:
"My husband and I believe in spanking our children
when they get out of line. We try to use time-outs the rest of the time.
Disciplining them lets them know we care. If we didn’t care, we’d just
let them run wild. A spank on the behind once in a while will not cause
lasting harm to a child."
Tom:
"The effects of corporal punishment does last a
lifetime. I was whipped by my dad from the time I was three until I was
sixteen. It only stopped because he died from a heart attack, but I
still hate him. I hate my mom, too, for not standing up to my dad and
stopping him from beating me. If I’m ever lucky to have a child of my
own someday, I won’t lay a hand on him. I don’t want any kid of mine
growing up to hate me."
Pam:
"Parents have to hit their kids these days or the
kids will think they can get away with anything. The harder, the better.
Parents need to get the message across that they are in charge, not the
kids. The younger the kids learn that, the more behaved they will be as
they get older."
We’ve gotten a lot of responses from readers on
corporal punishment. Many of those responses have been strong opposition
against it. There have been some milder responses, and there have been
some very strong responses from people who feel corporal punishment is
very much needed and that lack of it is what has caused society to have
so many troubles today with misbehaving children.
Whatever views you have, you have for a reason,
whether it relates back to your own childhood or not.
We’ve featured comments from Jordan Riak, Executive
Director of Parents and Teachers Against Violence in Education,
in the past. Mr. Riak’s website, http://www.nospank.org, carries
articles both for and against corporal punishment, as well as news
related to the topic. There are many articles at his site relating
stories about the use of corporal punishment in our schools. Yes, there
are still school systems that employ paddling students on the buttocks
and other actions as a form of discipline. Some of the articles, and
pictures, are disturbing, but they are real stories of what is going on
in some of our schools.
Jordan recommends that anybody concerned by the use
of corporal punishment write letters to their elected representatives
and state department heads in education, health, child & family
services, juvenile authorities, juvenile and family court judges, etc.
On (Teenage) Detention Centers:
Janine:
"Sounds like something right out of the horror
flicks!"
Benjamin:
"Shameful! Who’s really watching our children?! This
is something all parents should know about before they consent to
detention centers for their teens."
Jermine:
"So this is what goes on in the good old USA, huh?
Canada is looking better all the time."
Some recent articles to check out on the subject:
Spanking and Mental Health at http://nospank.org/falk2.htm
DEAR ABBY sets grandma straight at http://nospank.org/abby.htm
Today’s offering in GUIDE POSTS by Lloyd deMause at
http://nospank.org/toc.htm#posts
"Two Editors Scold Bush on Paddling" at http://nospank.org/2eds.htm
New York Times: "Paddling Foes Get Change in
Amendment on Liability at http://nospank.org/n-h74.htm
Houston Chronicle: "Justice of Peace defends
boy’s courtroom paddling" at http://nospank.org/n-h71.htm
Newsweek: "Should Paddling be Banned in Schools?"
at http://nospank.org/n-h75.htm
The Washington Post: "D.C. Schools Take Aim at
Corporal Punishment – Training Established to Curtail Violence" at
http://nospank.org/n-h73.htm
The New York Times: "Breaking the Hickory Stick"
at http://nospank.org/ny4.htm
"Parents’ Golden Rule" from Children, Youth &
Families Consortium, University of Minnesota at http://nospank.org/cyfcec.htm
"Spare the Rod!" Excerpted from soon-to-be published
Creating Emotionally Safe Schools by Jane Bluestein, Ph.D. at
http://nospank.org/bluestn.htm
"WAKE UP, IDIOTS, SPANKING IS SEXUAL!" submitted to
Project NoSpank by R.B. at http://nospank.org/s-kink.htm
Outrage over boy’s chain death – http://nospank.org/logan.htm
Hard labour, assault at camp ‘in Jesus’ name –
http://nospank.org/logan2.htm
PARENTS BEWARE – Schools or "youth training programs"
that absolutely should be avoided. Compiled by Jordan Riak at http://nospank.org/beware.htm
The Tide is Turning, by Robert Scharf at http://nospank.org/scharf4.htm
Inside rehab detention camp – http://nospank.org/logan3.htm
On Hunger:
Cindi forwarded this message in an effort to get more
people involved in the fight to end hunger:
"Every 3.6 seconds, someone dies of hunger. 75% are
children. Visit The Hunger Site at http://www.thehungersite.com/home
everyday to donate free food and participate in the fight to end world
hunger.
Funds to provide cups of staple food, paid for by
site sponsors, are generated when you click on the "Donate Free Food"
button on the homepage of The Hunger Site. In 2000, daily clocking
generated over $3.4 million for the front-line hunger relief charities
distributing food to the world’s needy. That’s over 20 million pounds of
food, paid for simply by clicking a button every day.
Please make visiting The Hunger Site part of your
daily routine and help spread the word to your friends and family!"
On Idaho Standoff:
Barbara K.:
"Did you hear that six children ranging in ages 8 to
16 are holding police at bay in Idaho inside their house after their
mother was arrested for child abuse? Apparently, they are armed with
guns and know how to use them well. Maybe the authorities should have
been called in sooner, or is everyone getting dumber and dumber? A
stand-off with children is one of the saddest things I’ve ever heard."
Note: One of the 5 children is now in protective
custody, and communication between the children and an adult has been
established. Although there are guns in the house, there have been no
shots fired or any threats. The children are apparently scared they will
be split up if they leave the house. Their father died recently and
their mom was recently arrested on felony child abuse charges. Police
are quick to point out the situation is under control and want to help.
Neighbors have tried to offer help in the past but were turned away.
These are frightened kids, not dangerous kids. No sooner did their dad
die that their mother was arrested and is now in jail. All anyone else
can do is pray for this family and, if interested, find out if there is
a place where donations can be sent to help.
Update: The remaining 5 children left their house on
Saturday, June 2nd and are now in state custody. A 19-year
old daughter’s concerns helped lead to the charges now pending against
the mother.
On Society:
Kelley:
"The solution to a safer society is having curfews
for young people and enticing more graduates to go into law enforcement
jobs. Police officers should become known to their neighborhood and work
together to combat crime."
Wendy:
"Time Magazine did a follow-up on some of the
teenage school shooters doing time for their crimes. What a distressing
article. Most of the young men are depressed, suicidal, and deal with
nightmares constantly. All of them wished other young teens would learn
from their mistakes and not follow in their footsteps. A few minutes of
‘revenge’ costs them their life and freedom. A few minutes of ‘revenge’
left them with a lifetime of grief and anguish. Young people – learn
from these young boys and men and don’t use force as an answer to your
problems. You will live to regret it, and these boys’ words are
testimony to that fact. You are dead wrong if you think shooting someone
is the answer. Don’t do it. Grow up and move on with your lives. Make
something of yourself."
Inaction can be just as bad as indifference. If you
have a ‘cause’ that’s important to you, go out and ‘fight’ for it. Speak
up. Reach out. If, in your lifetime, you help just one person, you have
made a difference. Dare to be different. Don’t worry so much about what
others may think. If you can look yourself in the mirror and be proud of
what you see, that is the only thing that matters.
Life is a risk, just being alive
But it’s a lot more than to just survive
We must act with love and lead the way
To do our best, day by day
Yes, dreams can sour, hopes can dim
But can you imagine what it would be like if nobody ever went out on
a limb
Imagine that nobody did nothing or just minded their own business out
of fear or ignorance
Imagine that nobody ever took a chance to make things better
Imagine if the mailmen didn’t deliver in bad weather
Life goes on, and those who try can never fail
We might not always succeed, we might even wail
But nothing can be gained by doing nothing, by risking nothing, by
turning away
That is not the way, OK?
We must be willing to do our part, go that extra mile
Why we’ve won if we gotten a smile
For it is that change is difficult to make
But we must try for everyone’s sake
For those that refuse to really see
Will never know the true beauty that we all can be
For those that criticize others and think they are always right
They’re always looking for a fight instead of trying to see the light
Never give up, never, never, never
Remember that what goes around comes around
Some day those that are lost will be found
What they discover then will blow them away
They might regret time lost, oh, yes, they may
Feel sorry for the fools who are stuck in their ways
They may look like you or me, but everything is not A-OK
To not feel, one cannot heal
To not understand is a way of this land
We must all come together and pray
Oh, yes, things will get better, yes, someday!
Copyright 2000. All Rights Reserved.